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Rafael’s Journal Entries, Selections

12/23/98 … You must do what makes you happy. My bride is out there somewhere. When I am ready to see her, with a little luck, she will appear. Till that day come, the road shall be my mistress, adventure my true love.

8/3/00 HavanaIt is funny how this whole day I tell people “I have no money” and the look hat follows. It is like Bill Gates telling you he doesn’t have enough change to take the subway.”

12/00 St. Johns, Virgin IslandsLooks like I’ll have to do another trip in July. Hopefully before then I will get a chance to explore some of the other islands. There are ferries to some and island hopper lanes to others. Each island has its own culture and character, so it should prove to be quite interesting. At different times thorough winter and spring each island has a week or month of Carnival. From the sound of things it gets a little out of control. Lots of music, dancing and plain fun. The beaches and caves are beautiful. Saw a 3’-4’ reef tip shark on my morning swim a couple of days ago. It was awesome… Despite my fear of wild donkeys, drunk drivers and lack of a surfboard I am having a good time.

7/27/01 on SaturnSo now I sit here under a beautiful night sky and a half moon, trying to figure out how to sum up the feelings of this trip. It is pointless, feelings change as fast as the wind. That is why we travel. I can say they told me “You’ll never find a boat for 5 grand.” ‘Make sure you get it surveyed.” I paid way too much for a piece of s… and somehow put a boat together. They said, “Whatever you do, don’t go out there and raise a sail. “Dave and I got out there and made it back. Sailing Fundamentals baby. When I asked about the trip down island, some said it couldn’t be done. They said we couldn’t do it. But then there were a couple with that wild look in their eyes. “Yaa, you’ll make it, just watch he weather” and “You’ll get wet, you’ll see.” I like those guys. We listened to those guys. After 41 days and 778 miles Blue and I pulled into Puerto Santos under the most beautiful sunset of the journey. Sipping on rum Ting sundowners, of course. Enough of this pen work, I need another glass of wine.”

2/13/04 Los Angeles…The other thing that got me today was putting on a hospital gown. It brought me to tears pulling the damn thing on. It’s wild what can trigger pent up feelings. The last time I welled up like that was back when they let me out for the firs time in San Diego. When I sat down next to that fountain and felt the water I lost it. I was on the verge of balling my eyes out. But now here I am back in a hospital bed in fairly good spirits.This is my life. Happy to have one. My feelings on the subject bounce around a bit. I am lucky to be alive, while being struck down in the prime of my life. I tend to not suffer from the “why me” syndrome but at the same time get pissed when I see druggies shitting away their bodies or listening to oversensitive spoiled brats complain about how unfair life is.In the end I see how lucky I am to have the family and friends I have been blessed with. The Big Man gave me thirty solid years to do whatever I wanted, it’s more than most people in the world can claim. I am a lucky man. Now let’s get me some new organs.

posted by jana @ 10:29 PM